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Well then.
Here has what I've been struggling with lately:
I want to be a better Christian. It's hard for me especially because I don't live in a very religious place, go to a very religious school, hang with a particularly religious crowd. But that's not a real excuse. It's hard for me because it should be hard, because doing the right thing isn't always the easiest thing. But I feel some times I write my faith off too easily- like I know it's always going to be there, so it doesn't matter if I don't devote every waking moment of my life to it.
I don't want to preach, because I don't think that gets anyone anywhere. I'd rather live through example, just so people could see how happy and good and complete you can be living through Christ, because I know it's possible. I can feel it in my heart. But I know I'm still holding something back.
There. Something about me personally. I told you I was boring! I feel so awkward posting about me, as I've avoided it for so long. I keep thinking people remember my old personal site and expect me to be the same person at 17 as I am at 20, when it's just not true. I do apologize for all the fandom stuff on lj, though- I don't expect everyone to want to read it, it's just what I've enjoyed writing about lately. Stuff like this, I don't particulary enjoy writing, but it is a bit cathartic.
Comments
Very cool, not boring at all. Many people struggle with it, I as well am in somewhat of a similar, actually basically the same struggle. I do agree in that example is better then preaching... examples should be set, and will eventually be followed.
[Josh]
I can't help but feel slightly responsible for your LJ remark. You shouldn't have apologized for writing about fandom, though. It doesn't irk anyone and even if it did, it's your journal. Those who are turned off by it can simply unfriend you and never again see another Alex entry.
Ah, it's not you, it's something I think about often, as I don't really have a personal journal, anymore. And I think I'm still known for the personal journaling.
I hear you--I want to be better too. Of course, I do live with a religious family, and there are plenty of avenues at work and elsewhere, but... something is STILL holding me back, yes.
*hugs you*
This entry surprised and excited me because it was something I really understand. It's so easy for me to put my faith into the background of my life somedays, when I'm busy or stressed or feel particularly self-centered. At times throughout the day I usually just have to remind myself of one of my favorite verses: He must become greater; I must become less. (John 3:30)
Thanks for this, anyway.
I want to be a better Christian too. But, it's hard and it's scary. I hate confrontation and I've always subconsciously been afraid that if I really get into religion - if I go to church every Sunday morning and Wednesday night and if I hang out with the Christian types - I will find something in the Bible or in the words of my preacher that fundamentally doesn't gel with me and that then I will have to make some kind of profound choice... I'm a liberally minded girl and sometimes my feelings don't coincide with currently popular Christian beliefs. But, I'm learning that that's okay. ANYWAY, ^^ - I'm not the type to share my faith in a demanding or overbearing way. I can't deal with people who treat me like that and I definitely don't want to shove my Christianity down other's throats but on the other hand I shouldn't hide the fact that I'm Christian and I should share my beliefs. I can't grow as a Christian if I ignore my religion.
Oh, I am so in the same boat with the whole Christianity thing. I can't tell you how much my life has improved since I accepted Jesus into my heart, but that was over 10 years ago, and since then, that passion has died down quite a bit. And once you've accepted Christ, you have that feeling in the back of your mind, that no matter what you do, you'll be forgiven. But yeah, especially living in today's society, it's tough not to think that way--
I also agree about sharing the word of Christ through example, rather than through preaching, (well, uh, unless that's your job). Nothing bothers me more than to see overbearing, preachy Christians, as that tends to push a lot of people away.
But hey, since we're not perfect, all we can do is continue to strive towards being as Christ-like as possible... I think God can appreciate when we're truly trying. :)
Oh, don't be apologetic for your fandom posts on Live Journal. It's your journal and you can fweeeeee if you want to. :D
Even though I am not presently a religious person, I can understand where you're coming from — actually, it's like believing in anything I guess. It's certainly hard to measure your faith and find a place in it, but you seem to have the right idea. You're doing it how it suits you, and if God truly exists then I'm sure it's not all about purity and utter devotion. Because at least you're beleiving at all.
Good luck with it all. ♥
Jumping on the "don't apologize for fandoms!" boat. It's your journal, talk about whatever you want!
Granted, this could also be because I come from a mixed-faith family, so organized religion has always been pretty low on the to-do list (thus making me a horrible, materialistic person by default), but I digress. It’s always nice to read what you have to say. Whether it be on the topic of fandom or faith, you’re one of few genuinely witty, well-read, and completely capable people with the capacity to write something compelling. I just hope you don't feel pressured to concentrate on one topic over another.
I try to live my religion as best as I can, and with a strong Christian family as well as friends that respect my beliefs it's definitely easier to be an example. Soon I'll be going to an ultra-liberal college where my standards will clash with most other people's, but I think when you've already made decisions about which lines you won't cross, it's a lot easier-and people do pay attention to that.
Your self-deprecation makes me want to comfort you and say "YOU ARE INTERESTING, YOU ARE INTERESTING, YOU DON'T NEED TO GO TO KANSAS AND ENTREATY THE WICKED WITCH JUST TO FIX YOURSELF."
I'll definitely be praying for you about that. I guess, for me, the problem is that it often seems like there's so much work to do, and I know I need time for God, but I'm just so tired and it seems like there's no time. All I can do to fix that is schedule a time for prayer and stick to it; no one else can make that choice, you know? But I just pray that God really touches you. It all starts with desire =)
Hmm... I don't really know what to say. So I'll just close with: God bless you<3